ELOUANS BIRTH
a positive homebirth story

It was early in the morning when I sleepily looked out of the window and the sun was just bathing the horizon in golden light. I can still remember this magical atmosphere. Shortly afterwards, my water broke. I shouted to Maël, my sleeping partner, to bring me a towel very quickly, quickly! That was the moment when it finally started, this experience I had been thinking about so much. What would it be like? When does it start? How long will it last and who will be there?

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I can only vaguely remember the next few hours. I remember Maël preparing breakfast for us and waking Sonia, our midwife (we were very lucky to be able to stay with her in the "Haus zur Sonne" during the weeks around the due date).

Snuggled in pillows, I ate a few bites but could hardly get anything down. Soon the waves became so strong that I crawled back under the covers, closed my eyes and watched with curiosity what was going on in my body;

The waves started rolling slowly at first, soon became stronger and stronger, I tensed my whole body to withstand the pressure, they reached the top... and then quickly weakened again.

In order not to be disappointed by my expectations, I had prepared myself in advance for a long birth.

Yes, I was now almost expecting it to go on like this until deep into the night and wondered how strong these waves could get.

In the breaks that followed the waves, I was deeply relaxed, even on the verge of falling asleep, but then the next wave rolled in. The breaks became shorter and shorter and the waves higher and higher. Sonia came to me to assess what stage the birth was in. During the waves she sounded along with me, which was incredibly good. So I asked Maël to do the same. During the whole birth he was very close to me and sounded along. It was like the male response to my primal motherly sounds. Letting myself sink deeper into the waves was so much easier now.

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After Sonia was with us, she went to the birthing room I had chosen to set up the pool and fill it with warm salt water. Anna, a good friend of ours, helped her.

In my world, time no longer existed. I have absolutely no idea how long I stayed in bed. Sonia just came up to me at some point and asked if I wanted to go in the pool.

So I got myself up, accompanied by Maël, I braved my way into the birthing room next door and got into the warm water. It embraced me and I felt carried.

The room was quiet and darkened, with only a few candles flickering and the sound of the sea playing softly over the stereo.

So I knelt in the pool, with my arms propped up on the edge of the pool. Sonia examined me just once - cervix open 8 cm.

Maël sat close to me, in his presence I felt very safe. When I looked around, I also saw Anna and Chiara, another friend. I briefly wondered if I really wanted so many people with me, but surprisingly, it didn't bother me at all.

In fact, it was very nice to have them near me. Kind of natural. Every now and then someone would bring me a glass of tea or pour warm water over my back, and every now and then the four of them would sing together. Although I can't remember the lyrics, I can remember very well the warmth the songs that filled the room. I wonder if without the singing it would have felt like they were spectators watching me from the outside. But their singing voices made them active co-experiencers of the birth, they were on this birth ship with me.

 

The birth progressed surprisingly quickly. I felt the waves rapidly getting stronger. Sometimes they didn't even pause any more. For a short while I wished I was back in the state I was in at the beginning, when I even almost fell asleep.

When the need to push arose in me, Sonia showed me how to slow down the birth with a certain breathing technique. Nevertheless, it didn't take long before I could feel the hairy head inside me. Unbelievable! Is that really our baby already?

A little disbelieving at first, I felt how it was pushed down a little further with each wave and slid up during the pause - pushed down again - and slid up again. Piece by piece, wave by wave.... how many more waves do we need?

I felt some impatience rising inside me, but I also knew it wasn't far off. Soon my child will be in my arms!

What I felt during this time is difficult to describe. Somehow I was just experiencing what was happening, noticing the many new bodily sensations, seeing images flash before my inner eye and feelings flow through me. I observed how my body simply did what it had to do, because it carries the primal knowledge of how to bring a child into the world.

The mind was out of place. I didn't have to push or move into a different position, instead I just intuitively followed my bodily impulses.

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Finally, Sonia asked if I wanted anything else before my child saw the light of day.

"Yes, I want Maël to join me in the pool!" I experienced the last waves in his embrace. I gently guided his hand into my Yoni to the little head with all the hair. I could clearly feel his great joy. It was so nice to share these exciting moments with him so close to the end of the birth.

And there it was at last: the wave with which the little head was suddenly out. But our child didn't slide out completely, he first turned his shoulders in my pelvis again, which felt very strange.

Then all of a sudden, with the next wave, in a moment I can no longer remember, the tiny creature slid into the water, directly into both of our hands. Unbelievable! I would love to be able to relive that moment.

Sonia took our son out of the water and put him on my chest, the umbilical cord was not very long, but it was just enough.

While we marvelled at our little miracle - it's a boy! Just like our gut told us! - my uterus kept working to deliver the dear placenta too. But the waves were nowhere near as strong.

While we waited for her, Sonia put a drop of Bach Flower Essence "Star of Bethlehem" on our son's forehead as a welcome and blessing. After half an hour, which felt like five minutes, the placenta was born. A total of five hours had now passed since the sun emerged over the horizon and the water broke.

Now baby and placenta were no longer hidden by my abdominal wall, but outside, in Maël's loving arms. I couldn't quite grasp this new state, just felt my big smile and the great delight and joy of now being able to experience this little being in the outside world.

The others helped me to climb over the edge of the pool and walk with wobbly legs to the bed next to the pool. As I lay down there, I felt all soft and dissolved. The pressure of my pregnant, tense belly was suddenly gone. Instead, I felt some blood leaking out of me onto the waterproof sheets beneath me. I couldn't hold it, just as I couldn't hold my flabby belly. So I just surrendered completely to what was happening to my body at the moment. An attitude I could very well take into the healing phase of the postpartum.

As soon as I was lying comfortably, Maël brought our son to me, into my arms, and then lay down beside me. These memories are also very vague in my mind. But I remember how exciting and beautiful it was when the little one found my breast and started sucking. A slight tugging in the breast and a soft swallowing sound, full of satisfaction.

After the first breastfeeding, Sonia took a basin of water, salt, herbs and rose petals and washed the placenta, which was still connected to our child by the umbilical cord. We did not intend to cut the cord. The connection between our son and his placenta was to remain until he would let go of it himself after a few days. (Lotus birth)

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A little later, the others brought up two big plates of freshly cooked food, but I wasn't hungry at all. Only the fruit juice was delicious! The whole house, even the neighbourhood, was in a festive mood.

 

When the evening finally arrived and we lay in bed, we were very surprised at how quickly this day had passed. Each moment in itself was an eternity, but strung together they flew by like a rushing wind.

So much, so great, has happened since we saw the golden sun on the horizon that morning and my water broke. The last time we woke up as a couple.

Now the little one lay very securely on Maël's chest, skin to skin. And so, finally, all three of us fell asleep together, completely exhausted and happy.